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Denise Punger MD FAAFP IBCLC
A Doula Religion
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A Doula Religion

 

I am going to "save" you from your birth experience. I am going to tell you how you can be protected eternally from your birth memories. You can have oneness with all your sisters who have ever given birth. It is very simple:

Believe in doulas.

If you do not have the faith, I will not leave you alone. If you do not have a doula at your birth and you later complain to me "about how bad your birth was," I will keep reiterating "you should have had a doula." If you still do not believe me, I will show you all the great doula books written, and call you "blind" because all the research shows the positive impact of a doula on birth. Open your heart to the idea. You wont regret it. If you still do not believe in doulas, I am going to make sure you have one at your birth, because, who would really mind me imposing something so wonderful on you, anyway?

You say you have a mixed relationship. You want a doula, your partner doesnt. Those kinds of marriages dont work. Give up your partner. Find a like-minded spouse.

Raise your kids with values. Start their life off right. They need a doula at their birth even if they wont understand why until years later. Indoctrinate them early. Children who believe in doulas and know the doula-difference will go on want doulas at their own childrens birth.

Doulas are saviors. You will have eternal contentment and spiritual peace with yourself for having a birth doula. You will be "one" with others who have better birth memories. You will become a birth junkie. You will forever nag the crap out of anyone who may even look slightly pregnant-- until they hire a doula.

A doula religion; I fit right in. Please dont be offended by my beliefs. I wouldnt tell you this if I didnt love you so. J

 

And the "doulas" said to the Pharaoh, "Because, unlike Egyptian women, Hebrew women are lively. Before the doula goes in to them, they have given birth." 20 So G-d was good to the doulas, and the people multiplied and became very numerous. 21 And so it was, because the doulas feared G-d, that He made for them families Exodus 1: 20-21

 

A Physician's Personal Experience with a Doula

 
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Denise Punger MD FAAFP IBCLC
4640 S. 25th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida, 34981
772-466-8884
Copyright 2005